one in the hand is worth two in the cube

After my painfully honest and pitiful post on Friday, I spent a lot of time at my desk thinking of all the things I was going to do over the weekend to make some positive changes in my life. It's pretty easy to sit in a cube and convince yourself that just *thinking* about doing things get's you pretty close to doing them. But if you are anything like me, it's about three counties away in reality.

I mean, I am the best planner. I can get a little notebook and plan the shit out of my next health renaissance. Getting off my ass and actually doing it all is a totally different thing. And I know that's part of my problem. Grandious plans with multiple steps that extend months into the future are, of course, more overwhelming than the Actually Doing center of my brain can compute. So I end up at more of the "fuck it!" stage than anything.

Which would explain that when I was finally unchained from my desk, I ran straight to Chili's and ordered enough food for at least three people. I suppose I should get some credit for not eating it all in one sitting, right? No, not really. Because then I proceeded to sit on my ass all weekend long. Not a dish was washed nor an apple purchased.

Just thinking about the energy I will need to extend to get where I need to go in anyway makes me want to crawl under my bed and never ever come out except to feed the cats and watch Veronica Mars. Where can one go to buy perspective? I need a six pack something fierce.