If I don't post about it, it didn't happen!

Is that the way it works? No. Fuck.

Um. You know the thing about falling off the wagon that is, like, literally falling off a wagon? The longer you lie there on the ground feeling sorry for yourself, the further away the wagon gets and the harder you have to work to catch up to it again.

Here we are, six months and 15 pounds later. (I said later, not lighter! *sigh*) I am almost relieved that the tally isn't worse than that. If that doesn't give you a hint as to my health-related habits over the last few months, I don't know what else to say. When you are thinking I only gained fifteen pounds, I am guessing there is something seriously wrong.

I have lost count of the times I stared at the link to this journal, avoiding any thinking about it like the plague. I don't know. Maybe I really did believe that if I just ignored the last six months, they never really happened. If *you* don't know about it, it's not real! If there are any of *you* left. Heh.

No, I am not dead. No, I am not anywhere near my goal weight. And no, I have no idea what happens next.

So, how are you?