Can I get that on a milk carton STAT!

Say what you want about Michael Moore, but the boy sure can make me laugh:

Someone Has Stolen Both the Brains AND the Sense of Humor from the Michigan Republican Party

Michael Moore filed a theft complaint with the Lansing City Police today stating that "someone has stolen both the brains AND the sense of humor from the Michigan Republican Party."

The brains were locked in a box where they were placed after the last moderate Republican governor of Michigan retired in 1980. The party's "sense of humor" was not valued at more than $100 and therefore its theft is considered a misdemeanor.

"I am concerned about the loss of these two items," Moore told reporters. "If there is anything I can do to help the Republicans find them, I will."

Anyone knowing the whereabouts of the Michigan Republicans' brains or sense of humor is asked to call CrimeStoppers at (269) 273-6467.

I am telling you, the only thing that bone head move did was give him more credibility. Mor. Ons.

Dude, can I have a hit of that?

Cheney: Weapons Report Justifies Iraq War

*blinkblink*

Um. Wait. Because. With the.

Huh?

The report shows that "delay, defer, wait wasn't an option," Cheney told a town hall-style meeting.

Um. Waiting wasn't an "option." IT WAS THE ONLY RATIONAL THING TO DO! Oops. There I go using that rational word again. I obviously need to drink more Kool-Aid.

I think it would be so cool to be Dick Cheney. I could just walk around and say whatever lies I wanted and half of America would believe me. That would rule.

It's stuff like this that almost makes me want to pretend I am from Texas

Republicans, Out of Ideas, Ask Prosecutors to Arrest Michael Moore

Are Republicans losing their ever lovin' minds, ya'll? I mean, what do they think this will accomplish? Let's say that they indeed arrest Michael Moore and put him in jail. Do they not understand the giant media circlejerk that would erupt? Do they not understand the overwhelming amount of free publicity they give MM when they do shit like this? Do they not see how they prove every point he has ever made by being so uptight and INSANE?!?

I guess their big man tanking in the first debate has driven them to the bring of sanity and they are just jumping off like the retarded lemmings they are.

My friends, they will not catch me. Though I may be on the run, and I may never be able to return home to my beloved Michigan, I make this solemn vow to you and yours: The slackers of America shall not be denied their noodles, they will proudly wear their clean underwear as free Americans, and they will vote Bush out of office come November 2nd (though they will not show up to the polls until well after noon)!

Word, Michael. Word.