You know, I can't even comment on what a complete and total fucktard Donald Rumsfeld is.

This just in: Stanley Cup finals to be held in Hell next season. Reports of pigs in flight.

Fox News praises Fahrenheit 9/11"

I am just going to post it here so you don't have to actually go there and give them traffic. Read it while you can. I am sure Mr. Friedman will find himself covering ice shifting in the North Pole soon. Bold emphasis by moi

The crowd that gave Michael Moore's controversial "Fahrenheit 9/11" documentary a standing ovation last night at the Ziegfeld Theater premiere certainly didn't have to be encouraged to show their appreciation. From liberal radio host/writer Al Franken to actor/director Tim Robbins, Moore was in his element.

But once "F9/11" gets to audiences beyond screenings, it won't be dependent on celebrities for approbation. It turns out to be a really brilliant piece of work, and a film that members of all political parties should see without fail.

As much as some might try to marginalize this film as a screed against President George Bush, "F9/11" — as we saw last night — is a tribute to patriotism, to the American sense of duty — and at the same time a indictment of stupidity and avarice.

Readers of this column may recall that I had a lot of problems with Moore's "Bowling for Columbine," particularly where I thought he took gratuitous shots at helpless targets such as Charlton Heston. "Columbine" too easily succeeded by shooting fish in a barrel, as they used to say.

Not so with "F9/11," which instead relies on lots of film footage and actual interviews to make its case against the war in Iraq and tell the story of the intertwining histories of the Bush and bin Laden families.

First, I know you want to know who came to the Ziegfeld, so here is a partial list:

Besides Franken and Robbins, Al Sharpton, Mike Myers, Tony Bennett, Glenn Close, Gretchen Mol (newly married over the weekend to director Todd Williams), Lori Singer, Tony Kushner, "Angela's Ashes" author Frank McCourt, Jill Krementz and Kurt Vonnegut, Lauren Bacall (chatting up a fully refurbished Lauren Hutton), Richard Gere, John McEnroe and Patti Smythe, former U.N. ambassador Richard Holbrooke, Carson Daly, NBC's Jeff Zucker, a very pregnant Rory Kennedy, playwright Israel Horovitz, Macaulay Culkin, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Kyra Sedgwick, Linda Evangelista, Ed Bradley, Tom and Meredith Brokaw, director Barry Levinson, NBC anchor Brian Williams, Vernon Jordan, Eva Mendes, Sandra Bernhard and the always humorous Joy Behar.

If that's not enough, how about Yoko Ono, accompanied by her son, Sean, who's let his hair grow out and is now sporting a bushy beard that makes him look like his late, beloved father John Lennon?

And then, just to show you how much people wanted to see this film, there was Martha Stewart, looking terrific. I mean, talk about an eclectic group!

Now, unless you've been living under a rock, you know that this movie has been the cause of a lot of trouble. Miramax and Disney have gone to war over it, and "The Passion of the Christ" seems like "Mary Poppins" in retrospect. Before anyone's even seen it, there have been partisan debates over which way Moore may have spun this or that to get a desired effect.

But, really, in the end, not seeing "F9/11" would be like allowing your First Amendment rights to be abrogated, no matter whether you're a Republican or a Democrat.

The film does Bush no favors, that's for sure, but it also finds an unexpectedly poignant and universal groove in the story of Lila Lipscombe, a Flint, Mich., mother who sends her kids into the Army for the opportunities it can provide — just like the commercials say — and lives to regret it.

Lipscombe's story is so powerful, and so completely middle-American, that I think it will take Moore's critics by surprise. She will certainly move to tears everyone who encounters her.

"F9/11" isn't perfect, and of course, there are leaps of logic sometimes. One set piece is about African-American congressmen and women presenting petitions on the Florida recount, and wondering why there are no senators to support them.

Indeed, those absent senators include John Kerry, Hillary Clinton and Ted Kennedy, among others, which Moore does not elaborate upon. At no point are liberals or Democrats taken to task for not supporting these elected officials, and I would have liked to have seen that.

On the other hand, there are more than enough moments that seemed to resonate with the huge Ziegfeld audience.

The most indelible is Bush's reaction to hearing on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, that the first plane had crashed into the World Trade Center.

Bush was reading to a grade-school class in Florida at that moment. Instead of jumping up and leaving, he instead sat in front of the class, with an unfortunate look of confusion, for nearly 11 minutes.

Moore obtained the footage from a teacher at the school who videotaped the morning program. There Bush sits, with no access to his advisers, while New York is being viciously attacked. I guarantee you that no one who sees this film forgets this episode.

More than even "The Passion of the Christ," "F9/11" is going to be a "see it for yourself" movie when it hits theaters on June 25. It simply cannot be missed, and I predict it will be a huge moneymaker.

And that's where Disney's Michael Eisner comes in. Not releasing this film will turn out to be the curse of his career.

When Eisner came into Disney years ago, the studio was at a low point. He turned it around with a revived animation department and comedy hits such as "Pretty Woman" and "Down and Out in Beverly Hills."

But Eisner's short-sightedness on many recent matters has been his undoing. And this last misadventure is one that will follow him right out the doors of the Magic Kingdom.

La la la! I can't hear you! LA LA LAAAAAAAA!

The White House's official reaction to the 9/11 Panel's report?

"The administration's statements rest on a solid foundation of history and facts. The record of links between Iraq and al Qaeda is clear to anyone who has open eyes and an open mind," a White House official said on Wednesday.

I am confused by their definition of "clear" and "open mind". Someone should release a BushCo to English dictionary. I think it would make things a little easier for me to understand. But you know they have completely given up when they start quoting Hilary Clinton to try to support their case. I mean, she's the devil incarnate, but she totally bought our lies about Iraq and al Qaeda, so she can't be that bad, right?!!?

Can you define hypocrite for me, Mr. Bush?

The 9/11 Panel has officially released its findings. They clearly state that they found "no credible evidence that Iraq and al Qaeda cooperated on attacks against the United States."

Someone should really tell the two most powerful men in the country about that. Because not only did Dick have his say on the issue, but the Prez also chimed in during his Rose Garden press conference on Tuesday:

Q The Vice President, who I see standing over there, said yesterday that Saddam Hussein has long-established ties to al Qaeda. As you know, this is disputed within the U.S. intelligence community. Mr. President, would you add any qualifiers to that flat statement? And what do you think is the best evidence of it?

PRESIDENT BUSH: Zarqawi. Zarqawi is the best evidence of connection to al Qaeda affiliates and al Qaeda. He's the person who's still killing. He's the person -- and remember the email exchange between al Qaeda leadership and he, himself, about how to disrupt the progress toward freedom?

Saddam Hussein also had ties to terrorist organizations, as well.

In other words, he was affiliated with terrorism -- Abu Nidal, the paying of families of suiciders to go kill innocent people. I mean, he was no doubt a destabilizing force. And we did the absolute right thing in removing him from power. And the world is better off with him not in power.

I look forward to the debate, for people saying, oh, gosh, the world would be better off if Saddam Hussein were still in power. I think we'd have trouble finding takers, particularly those in Iraq, as well. They're now living in a free society. And I repeat, it's hard work to go from Saddam Hussein to a free society. But we'll get there. And we'll get there because people want to be free, that's why we'll get there. People long to live in freedom. And the United States -- and I will continue to make it clear that we will not abandon those who are building free societies -- whether it be in Afghanistan or whether it be in Iraq.

That's so fucking hysterical. If you ask an expert on terrorists in the Middle East *not* on the BushCo payroll, they will tell you that, while Zarqawi was in Iraq, he was allied with the people that opposed Saddam. In fact, there has been evidence presented that we knew where Zarqawi's camp was before we invaded Iraq, but we let go our chance to take him out because it would take away the only actual terrorist cell in the whole country, making our argument for invasion even more invalid than it already was.

As for people saying the world would be better off with Saddam in power, I am not sure Bush is actually listening. That's not the issue. The issue is, there were other ways to do it. More planning should have been put in to it. Was it really necessary to sacrifice over 800 (and, unfortunatly, still counting) American troops? We should have had the support of the rest of the world before running off half-cocked. You know, that support you are now trying to get by sucking up to those same leaders you dismissed before the war?

Oh, and by the way, someone already Polled the Iraqis on how they think things are going. You might want to read it. Or have it read to you. Or have someone put it one of the memo thingamagigs that you like so much. Because then you would know that more than half of Iraqis believe they would be safer if U.S. troops simply left.

I'm so glad our leader has a clear understanding of the issues.

Denial is a river that runs through Dick Cheney's veins

Cheney: Saddam had strong al-Qaida ties

I dunno. I almost admire the man for refusing to deal with reality. Okay, no I don't. GIVE IT UP, DUDE! Not buying what you are selling anymore.

Keerist.

Same shit, different day

I am feeling extremly lazy today, so this is going to be linktastic. But they are good links, so no bitching!

First up, is Democratic Underground. One of my favorite features is their Top Ten Conservative Idiots column. They really do an excellent job of summing up the ridiculousness of the Repugs. In this week's edition, we have the Ronathon, the lies and more lies in the State Department and by Asscroft, and some lovely photos of Dubya at the G8 Summit. Lord, that man is a giant tool.

Speaking of giant tools, check out this brilliant cartoon about Reagan. I think it sums up how I feel about the last week quite nicely.

Americablog links to an article that just warms my heart and gives me hope for the future. *sniff*

Retired Officials Say Bush Must Go

A group of 26 former senior diplomats and military officials, several appointed to key positions by Republican Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, plans to issue a joint statement this week arguing that President George W. Bush has damaged America's national security and should be defeated in November.

The group, which calls itself Diplomats and Military Commanders for Change, will explicitly condemn Bush's foreign policy, according to several of those who signed the document.

The Bushies aren't worried, because this group isn't well known. So I suggest we make them well known. You know, monuments and shit. Maybe put these guys on the $20.

Now it's time for your mission for this week! Rumor has it that right-wingnuts are planning to make things difficult for theaters that plan to screen Fahrenheit 9/11. I am not surprised by this in the least. Honestly, I hope some of them show up to the theater when I go the first day it opens so I can laugh at them. Do your part and buy your tickets now! And make sure to thank the theater you go to for having the guts (and/or the greed) to show the film despire the moron protestors.

And finally, since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I shall sign of like some of my favorite bloggers....

This breaking news just in from Simi Valley: Ronald Reagan is still dead! Thank you and good day.